Realizing who we are.

There comes a point in everyone's lives that they realize what type of person they are or asks "who am I really?"
I am a night owl as most would say, I stay up late scuttling around and wake up much later than most in the depths of the night.
As you can see by the post date it's around 1 am Sunday, I go to church and by all rights should be in bed sleeping but I'm not, it's kind of a waste of time.
We all need sleep, that's not what I'm really referring to, which is partly why I often times get misunderstood in what I'm talking about to people.
I'm not saying the sleep is a waste of time, Sleep is what the body uses to recover from all the energy you used during the day.
What I should in all honestly say is it's time lost, that time between night and morning when we all dream whether we remember it or not.
Our brain is constantly in motion and thinking even when our consciousness is shut down.
How amazing is it that God made us to keep working even when our body isn't?
It's doing maintenance and such, letting our often times locked imagination free.
we grow and even burns fat while we sleep {Albeit a very small amount.}
Sleep is amazing and fun on a lazy weekend in midday, lay and stretch out in the warm sun and drift to sleep.
Beyond being a night owl I am many things and I've gotten to the point of knowing who I am in both myself and who God has made me to be and I'm still being shaped every day to be a better version of myself.
There are things about me that I see that need changing, I know for a fact that I want to be more uplifting as a person instead of so critical.
It's often times hard to make those changes let alone see it in ourselves to know we should change it and often times when others point things out the first thing we jump into is denial.
We often refuse to admit there is anything wrong with us and I'm as guilty of that as anyone.
I've been learning what I need to change in my life to be a better me, changing bits of who we are isn't a bad thing when the bits are hurting our relationship with other people.
I'm a loud person, ask anyone I know, I have no indoor voice and I totally loose track of the volume of my voice without even realizing it sometimes.
It's kind of like TV. in the way that when your program is on the volume is lower but when the commercial comes on the volume boosts by 50% if not more.
I realize that if I want to interact with people I need to adjust to their level, it's not that I'm totally changing who I am as a person, Just finding a point where people can be around me.
when I get excited I get hyper and loud and for the most part I've really toned it down when I'm around certain people so it doesn't scare them so much anymore.
I know I used to ask "why can't people just accept me for me?" and I've begun to understand that not everyone can handle to full fledged YOU, you.
I've learned that you can still be who you are even if it is a watered down version of yourself.
Some of us don't like to do that but hey that's life, some people aren't used to certain types.
The rowdy and loud, extreme and outgoing, the life of the party type that makes a scene in front of everyone and doesn't care, heck the person might get a kick out of seeing the reactions from what they do.
David danced naked before God! :D
When I am in Full ME mode I am out there and outgoing, loud and the type of person that will pretty much do anything if I really want to simply because I want to live.
I'm not saying I'm going to do something foolish like do something on a dare because what good is being you if you're going to bow to what others want you to do?
I'm a blunt person and I'll tell you flat out what is right, wrong and what I think.
There is no mixed messages with me, If I tell you something I'm not going to go through the trouble of lying to you.
Yes it causes me trouble from time to time because frankly I think "tact" is a worthless and cowardly act from people trying to beat around the bush instead of telling the truth.
If it happens to hurt someone then it's like taking a needle shot, it stings for a bit but then the pain goes away and you go back to a normal life after words.
Lately I've been trying to be more silent and it's hard to tame the tongue let me tell you but that's a whole other story all together.
In all let me tell you this...
while it may not be easy to change, it's worth it in the end to make an attempt, not changing who you are, God made you to be who you are and He thinks you are wonderful but trying to shed those things that take away your value as a person.
Things like Anger and hate, spite, lust, envy, malice, Greed and gossip.
It's like someone spent millions of dollars building a house and find they have bad wiring so the lights flicker and such, they aren't going to sit by and do nothing, they call someone to get it fixed so the house works properly.
It works the same way with us, we are the ones that God has invested in, He sees our faults in the wiring and wants to fix that, He doesn't want to tare down the whole house, He likes the design and wants to keep it.
What He want's to do is come in and make those minor changes on the inside so we work better as a dwelling place.
There is another side to the coin, sometimes people want to be someone else because they don't like who they are because they see too much damaged goods.
Certain things happen in our lives, good and bad that shape who we are as a person and I believe everything happens for a reason, it shapes us and makes us more patient, makes us relate to others better.
I can tell you a person that has gone through more pain will be able to relate to people better than those who haven't.
It's our story and testimony to each other, our connection to the world through Christ.
What good is it to live a life where you never actually lived?
Some may get that and others may not get it but I'm sure if you contemplate on it, you might understand if you didn't right away.
In ending I want to tell you this, Be who you are, Love who you are, change things that hold you back and never want or compare yourself to others except Christ.

Let me leave you with these quotes...

"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are."

"Always be a first rate Version of yourself instead of a second rate version of someone else."